


Man in the Middle

by EvilPeaches



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Love Triangles, M/M, Sillyfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilPeaches/pseuds/EvilPeaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn't enjoyable, fighting over the same man. Therefore, some solution must be found and Maria and Malik are going to find one. Altair will just have to deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man in the Middle

**Author's Note:**

> **AN:** Alright, this silly thing came into my head randomly after dinner and I just decided to post it. I've been writing too much angst lately, so this will make me happy. Maria finds out that Malik and Altair have been having 'extracurricular actitives'....so her and Malik have an adult talk on how to make everyone (except Altair of course) happy. Don't take this too seriously, it is meant to be ridiculous. And don't worry, no Maria hate is here.
> 
> That being said, enjoy!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I do not own Assassin's Creed or the characters. They belong to Ubisoft.

 

They stare at each other with bad humor written all over their faces. Maria seems more pale than usual and Malik eyes would kill if they could. “So,” Malik starts slowly through a clenched jaw, “now that we both know what the playing field looks like, what do you propose we do?”

 

Maria sits down in the grass in a huff and lies on her back, staring up at the sky and the clouds floating above her. She raises a hand and aimlessly tries to trace shapes in the sky, thinking deeply. “We could make a schedule.”

 

Malik looks at her as if she is the devil. “A _what_?! How can you even say such a disgusting thing?”

 

She shrugs her shoulders a little, trying to keep the sadness off her face. She puts on a determined look instead. “Well, I’m not giving him up and neither are you so we might as well figure out a schedule. You can have him part of the week and I’ll have him the other half.”

 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Malik lets out an empty chuckle. “That won’t work. There are only seven days in the week. An uneven amount.”

 

“Fine! Every other night then.”

 

“Oh, yeah, that will look good! The Grand Master sneaking between two different bedrooms every night like a common prostitute,” Malik hisses, hand on his hip.

 

Maria blinks her eyes rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay and Malik goes back to glaring off into the distance; at the castle. He vaguely wonders if Altair can see them from his grand window. Sniffling, Maria says, “I wish you could just disappear. You make him so upset sometimes. I think you are the only person that ever hurts his feelings.”

 

Vaguely offended over the disappearing thing, Malik replies, “I upset him over what? Not sucking his cock every moment of the day?”

 

Sneering, Maria growls, “No, not that, and ew, are you always that crude? I’m talking about when you go to see those whores in the village. It takes him days to get over that and he can never focus. It absolutely kills him, he goes mad with jealousy.”

 

At a complete loss, Malik bends over and throws a rock into the nearby pond. Then he gets mad. “He has you, why the hell does he care who I see when I’m not with him? He’s so incredibly egotistical!”

 

“He loves you. How can you not see that?” The words are like knives in her mouth.

 

“And you think he doesn’t love you? He would have never brought you here if he didn’t,” Malik snaps back, unnerved.

 

Maria sits up again and plays with a thread on her shirt. Her hands are callused from dueling in the courtyard with novices. “I know he cares about me. But he cares about me in a different way. I accept that. I can’t compete with his history with you. You had him before I even came into the picture.”

 

Remorse is beginning to fill Malik at her soft words. He can’t hate the woman, she is too honest and almost forgiving. “I tried,” he whispered, “I tried to end it when you came here and he began a relationship with you, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m sorry; my weakness for him has caused all this misery.”

 

There is no response to his words and Malik is uncomfortable with the absence of conversation. Though Malik is loathe to say it, he offers a solution he really doesn’t like. “Maybe I should just leave. I could go back to Jerusalem and never see him again.”

 

It is a surprise when Maria shakes her head, a soft but bitter smile gracing her lips. “Do you honestly think he would let you go, Malik? You are too important to him. Altair will always need you to help him run the brotherhood.”

 

“Ah yes. He never was the smartest or humblest of them all,” Malik says dryly as he thinks on how Altair deals with the day to day people of Masyaf and how politics is like a foreign language to the man.

 

Maria giggles, wiping the tears off her bright face. “You are dead on with that. But seriously, do you think every other night would work? I think that is the only way we are going to handle this.”

 

Malik frowns, but only slightly. “I hate sharing.”

 

“So do I.” Then. “I’m sorry I called you a whore this morning,” Maria says softly, yet sincerely.

 

“I deserved it. I apologize for calling you a foul bitch who sucks on more-” Malik starts to say but Maria cuts him off quickly before he can repeat the insult in its entirety.

 

She stands up and brushes off her pants brusquely. Maria grabs Malik’s hand and shakes it firmly, as if sealing a deal. “Alright then. A schedule? It is my turn tonight.”

 

“What? When did we decide that!”

 

Maria smirks deviously. “It was decided when I caught you moaning like a slut against the wall in the office with Altair on his knees in front of you.”

 

The former Dai of Jerusalem flushes a bright red under his tan. “We didn’t really get to finish though! That's not fair!”

 

“Alright, fine. You can have him again tonight. Tomorrow he is mine, though, hand off, Malik. None of that sloppy seconds bullshit either that I know you two pull!”

 

Still blushing, Malik gazes at her for a moment, as if trying to figure her out. Then he nods and gives her a one-armed hug. “Hands off tomorrow, I got it. Thank you, Maria. I mean it.”

 

Trying not to grin, she pulls away and winks at him, trying to lighten the mood between them. _Maybe Malik isn’t such a bad guy after all_ , she thinks. Then, just as she is walking away, Maria turns on her heel sharply to point her finger at Malik menacingly with a sour look on her face. “Don’t you dare break his heart again or I’ll kill you. I’ll stab you in the dick and maybe I’ll laugh while you die.”

 

Malik laughs despite the fact that he knows Maria is dead serious. “You break his heart once and I’ll throw you out the window of the highest tower.”

 

The woman considers it for a moment and then nods her head in agreement. “It is fitting. I like the way you think, my nasty friend.”

 

* * *

:::

* * *

  
  
Later that evening, the pair eats dinner together, chatting quietly about a mutually read book. When the Grand Master enters the eating hall, his green-flecked, golden brown eyes narrow in suspicion as he catches sight of Maria and Malik eating. Together.

 

“Altair. What ever is the matter with you? You look like you just swallowed a frog.” Malik asks casually.

 

The assassin shifts on his feet as he looks at his two lovers, wondering if he just walked into some form of a trap. “You two were at each other’s throats this morning. What has changed?”

 

Taking a bite of bread, Maria sips her water and says with an unconcerned air, “We have spent some time together and have reached an understanding.”

 

Malik agrees. “Yes. I’ve found I quite like Maria. What an intelligent woman! Much smarter than you, anyway.”

 

Altair’s eye twitches at Malik’s words, but he still can’t piece together what is going on. Just hours earlier, Maria had been pulling Altair’s mouth off of Malik’s cock and had gone into a screaming fit of rage cursing them both to hell. There could only be one reason they were forming an alliance now, only one reason and it had to be revenge for him thinking he could keep both…

 

“Are you leaving me for each other?!” Altair deadpans, confusion written all over his face.

 

There is an uncomfortable silence as both Maria and Malik absorb what Altair just said. Then, Malik shouts furiously, “Are you an idiot?”

 

Maria laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments if you liked! Thank you :)


End file.
